My first experiences with MtF HRT

Writing & Reflection

On Tuesday, April 4, 2023, I took my first doses of estradiol (transdermal patch) and spironolactone. Two weeks ago, I was prescribed gender-affirming hormones after seeing a physician through my Plume subscription, although I decided to delay starting HRT for two weeks due to some minor-but-unrelated health concerns I had.

I’m not sure whether this was a simply a placebo effect, but I experienced one of the most profound, positive emotional changes I’ve ever felt within a few hours after starting HRT. I’m a naturally-nervous person who has occasional panic attacks. I’ll also add that before my first HRT dose on Tuesday, I was quite wired-up with anger earlier that day. Yet shortly after starting HRT, I felt this wonderful sensation of inner peace and calmness envelop me.

The difference in my mental state felt like night and day. I felt most anger and anxiety suppressed. While there are other medications I take for anxiety, I knew this was different.

 I will note that on the second and third days, I noticed a decrease in both my energy level
 and my libido, and that I also noticed some of my negative emotions returning. Regardless, I feel more in control with respect to the expression of negative emotions.I cannot say that these effects will happen for everyone, because they won’t. This experience is specific to my circumstances, both physical and mental, some of which I’d prefer not to disclose, and some of which I might not be aware of.  

Quite frankly, I had feared starting HRT because I was worried about it changing my mental state. I guess it changed for the better!

Love, Briél Kate

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