Today (July 4th, 2023) marks the United States’ 247th birthday. For many of us Americans, the Independence Day holiday brings with it happy memories. From time with our families, the backyard barbecues, and the fireworks shows, we come together and celebrate what makes our country great.
While all of these wonderful celebrations continue in the background, this July 4th holiday also happens to mark another personal milestone for myself. As of today, I have taken hormone replacement therapy (HRT) for three months! I would really like to use this occasion to reflect upon these last three months, as well celebrate the progress I’ve made with my gender transition.
(TOP IMAGE: Meeting Ari at Trinity Pride Fest on June 24th, 2023. Follow her on TikTok here!)
First Month: April
Quite frankly, for the longest time I had felt scared to start HRT, despite my desire to transition. I feared many things about it, with (negative) emotional and personality changes ranking at the top of my list of concerns. With my first dose on April 4th, 2023, I quickly discovered that my fears were unfounded.
As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, My first experiences with MtF HRT:
[Shortly] after starting HRT, I felt this wonderful sensation of inner peace and calmness envelop me.
The difference in my mental state felt like night and day. I felt most anger and anxiety suppressed.
After feeling trapped in my anxiety and depression for the longest time, I found myself turning a new leaf from the very moment I started HRT. I felt alive again! The sheer joy, happiness, and vitality I felt made the remainder of April one of the best months I have experienced in several years. I started getting out more and attended a variety of events. The two April events I enjoyed the most included included a meetup with Dallas Social Influencers in the Bishop Arts District, where I had the opportunity to meet local social media influencers, as well as the 25th anniversary open house at Bass Performance Hall in downtown Fort Worth.
Keep in mind that these early experiences of emotional bliss occurred with only a low dose of HRT.
A picture of myself during the 25th anniversary open house at Bass Performance Hall; taken on the stage.
Second Month: May
Unfortunately, as the calendar turned from April to May, I started to notice my emotional state reverting towards its pre-HRT, somewhat-depressed state. This remained the case even as I increased my HRT dose at the beginning of May. I have very little to report from the month of May, sadly.
Third Month: June
While May might have been a fairly-uneventful month, around the beginning of June, I started to notice an exciting physical change taking place with my body. I was inside an elevator in an office building in downtown Fort Worth, in the process of carrying a food delivery to one of the upper floors, when I first noticed it. This was one of those fancy elevators with mirrors, and it was when I took a look in the mirror, I noticed that my chest was starting to grow! By this point, I had been on HRT for two months. Within the next few days, I also began to feel increased sensitivity in center of my breasts (that is, in and around the nipples). Considering that my current source of employment occasionally has me lifting heavy objects, I must be cognizant of the fact that I now have sensitive breasts, because I have occasionally hurt myself on accident whenever I forget this.
The moment I first noticed my chest was growing, back in early June 2023.
After the downtime I had during the month of May, I realized that to improve my mental health, I needed to get back out and socialize like I did during the month of April. And so, during the latter half of June, this is exactly what I did. On Saturday, June 17th, I attended a free swing dance lesson and big band concert held at the Sundance Square Plaza in downtown Fort Worth. Although I had a fun experience here, including meeting up with a few old acquaintances I met through other swing dance meetups in the Fort Worth area, I would have even more fun the next Saturday, June 24th, when I would attend my first Pride fest.
Here I am at Sundance Square on June 17th, 2023, with the band performing in the background. The dress is (obviously) WHBM.
Trinity Pride Fest 2023 was truly an amazing experience. Not only did I enjoy the outdoor performances, but attending Pride gave me the opportunity to meet new people and connect with other people in the local Fort Worth LGBTQIA+ community. I had made it a goal of mine to connect with more LGBTQIA+ people in my local area, not only for the purposes of social connection, but to also try and develop professional connections that could help me find more satisfying employment in a gender-affirming environment. Although I originally planned not to attend Pride due to some safety concerns I had in light of violence and hateful rhetoric directed against the LGBTQIA+ community, I realized that my concerns were unfounded due in part to the police presence there (this was definitely a precautionary measure; I did not hear about any threats made against this Pride event, fortunately).
Me at Trinity Pride Fest, holding a Pride flag. I’ll admit, I wish I had the newer Progress Pride flag instead!
The stage at Trinity Pride Fest. Everyone was having a great time!
Two days after Pride, on Monday, June 26th, I went shopping for some new clothes at White House Black Market, after I had noticed some of the sienna-colored dresses and T-shirts from window-shopping the week prior. Considering that I already have plenty of dresses in my closet, and that I wear T-shirts most frequently, I decided to buy two T-shirts featuring this sienna color; the first one has sienna and white stripes, and the other one is a solid sienna color.
Trying on the sienna-and-white striped T-shirt in the WHBM fitting room.
Trying on the solid sienna T-shirt. You can’t see it here, but it has an interesting cross-strap feature on the back.
Classy selfie using WHBM’s gorgeous fitting room curtains as a backdrop. I love how this picture came out!
Going back to my desire to develop professional connections, in my effort to seek out networking events (albeit not LGBTQIA+ specific), I had also planned to attend the TEDxWestoverHills event on July 1st. Sadly, those plans would get derailed by something many of us have forgot about.
Catching COVID-19
On Tuesday, June 27th, while I was on the job making deliveries, I noticed that I had a pretty bad headache. Considering that I have frequent sinus headaches, I didn’t think much of this particular headache, and continued to press on with my work for the day. Despite my track record of working with kids in after school programs, both during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic as well as last summer when I stopped wearing a mask at work, I managed to avoid catching COVID-19 for over three years. On Thursday, June 29th, 2023, my luck finally ran out, when I tested positive for COVID-19. Sadly, this meant that I had to cancel my plans to attend the TEDxWestoverHills event I was looking forward to attending.
Over the last week, I’ve dealt with a variety of COVID-related symptoms. These symptoms include the aforementioned headaches, as well as body aches, spells of dizziness, low appetite, and coughing spells, not to mention moments of feeling nervous. The headaches started first, with the other symptoms becoming noticeable on Thursday (June 29th). Fortunately, this seems to be a mild case of COVID-19, and as of yesterday (Monday, July 3rd), I’m starting to feel better. Following CDC guidance for mild COVID cases, I ended my home isolation yesterday, on what would be considered day 6 (as the first day of symptoms, June 27th, was day 0). I celebrated the end of isolation by visiting North East Mall (I didn’t buy any clothes given my purchases from the week prior, but I did stop in WHBM to say hello!) and also returning to my delivery work as well, although I made sure to wear a mask in accordance with CDC guidance. Aside from those instances when I’ve made deliveries to hospitals and other healthcare facilities, this was the first time I’ve worn a mask in at least a year.
Getting some much-needed rest during my home isolation period, all while wrapped in a red velvet blanket. How cozy.
Finally getting back out, but I’m wearing a mask. Photo taken on July 3rd, 2023.
Looking forward
After my COVID-19 setback, things are looking up once again. I’m already starting to make plans to attend a variety of local events. While I’ve yet to determine what specific events I will attend, I do want to make an effort to attend some type of professional networking event in addition to the “fun” events I would normally attend. Please stay tuned for updates!